Proposed form Not a report of established or tested use.
- When
- An occasion chosen by those keeping it, with a clear ending
- How often
- occasional
- Mood
- solemn
Mourning and repair are different acts. Neither substitutes for the other, and neither needs a performance of the maker’s difficult feelings to become real.
The form offers a time to attend. The repair practice helps distinguish a duty that continues from a request for absolution.
The observance
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Mark the beginning
Use a safe light or another agreed signal. Nobody must face a flame, darkness or sudden sound.
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Name only what can be supported
Use a documented harm, within the limits of the source and the privacy of those affected. If you cannot verify a detail, omit it rather than make the account more moving.
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Leave room
Keep a short agreed silence or use a reading that is welcome. Nobody is asked to testify, confess, or endure distress.
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Name a duty if there is one
A person with responsibility may state a specific next action. Do not turn attendance into absolution or require the harmed person to accept a repair.
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End
Extinguish the light or close the signal. Make clear that leaving the occasion is permitted even where the duty continues.
If you are organizing one
- Do not solicit testimony from people harmed in order to give the event emotional weight.
- Public records do not automatically authorize public retelling of intimate details.
- Practical support and qualified services take priority where someone needs immediate help.